Friday, March 8, 2013

we are bad friends

We are guilty of making each of these excuses a time...or...10.

The truth is, I may think I'm busy, but the reality is that I am not soooo busy that I can't have a quick text convo in between my meetings or pick up the phone for a 3 minute catch-up on my way to the dry-cleaners, and neither are you. There, I said it - your schedule is not any more hectic than the next gal - we are bad friends.

Whatever our reason may be, if we value a person being a part of our lives, we have to stop making excuses and make them a priority. No friendship, no matter the length of time or the peaks & valleys, deserves to be one-sided.

We are all simply selfish and lazy. It's become the norm and acceptable to login to Facebook to "Like" Jane's latest status about her new puppy and move on, or scroll through our Instagram feed and see what artsy picture Beth has posted from her latest business trip to Detroit, post a comment about the yummy dish she ate, and of course a "miss you gurl! xoxo."

We are doing ourselves a disservice by not interacting with our girl friends on a more meaningful level. We're not limited, like our Grandmothers were, to having relationships with our only female friends being those in our backyard. We owe it to ourselves to cultivate friendships with other women, new and old friends, and hold up our end of the bargin by putting forth the effort to stay connected to them. Every friendship is different, but none is worth ignoring that voicemail to watch the Real Housewives bicker yet again on a Tuesday night. We have to be better friends.

Last week, a sorority sister sent out an email to our mailing list that she and her husband were moving from Florida to Texas. It was what I considered a standard email to the group about an exciting life event, but she also made a note in the email that she was making it a priority to be a better friend and stay in better touch with her friends. I read the email and closed it sleepily before rolling out of bed to start my day, but her words stuck with me. She took the time to write us and tell us about her life, and to publicly make a vow to stay in better touch with friends. That took guts.

Her email continues to sit with me, and has spurred me to write this post. I'm here to say in front of everyone that I vow to be a better friend. I will text my friends to ask "how are you?," I will send an email checking-in, and pick up the phone to be your ear to listen. In short, I promise to be a better friend, making my friends more of a priority in my life each day. Will you?


  1. A friend of mine recently emailed me and we ended up scheduling a time to talk on the phone during a night we both had free later that week, and I put it on my Outlook calendar. Maybe it was a little weirdly businesslike, but hey - if I can manage my work life through calendar blocks, why not fit some good friend time in there too?

    1. Katie - I am so glad to know that I'm not the only one who uses my calendar to book time for my friends. I have one friend whom I have a standing appointment with each month on my calendar to make sure we don't miss a quick hello! It's a wonderful idea!!


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